Sunday, June 15, 2014

My Fasha

Well I was thinking about how I haven't blogged in a very long time.

So Father's Day was the perfect excuse to write again.

I haven't quite decided how I wanted to go about writing this post. Do I want to be sentimental? Funny? Crude? I'm good at being all those things.

But there is a subject I wanted to touch on that I haven't really spoken about verbally and the reason why I have this blog is to express some feelings that are easier to write down than say out loud.

My dad is special.
(not like those gotcha day balloons you and mom gave me in 7th grade). 
My dad is not like anyone else. He's of a different species or something.

He doesn't come home and crack open a can of beer. He comes home after work and puts jeans on, not sweatpants. He remembers almost every detail of an event or every birthday of a family member. And he has the cleanest closet you'll ever see.

Much like my grandpa, he is "Mr. Friendly." He can strike up a conversation with almost anyone. Standing in the line at Wal-Mart, waiting at baggage claim, you know he's going to be talking to someone.
He will always go above and beyond for people he cares about and he doesn't think twice about it.
So when my dad was ready to start dating, I was afraid.

I feel as though it's only natural to think or wonder whether or not your parent will love someone new more than they loved your other. But that wasn't my concern.

My concern was that the women that met my dad would fall in love right away and things would move too fast. In my head, most of the women that would be in his "target audience" are those who have been divorced and didn't have a relationship like my parents had. That they were taken advantage of, didn't feel appreciated, or didn't get the support they needed.

When a stranger meets my dad, they will be able to tell instantly that he is the type of man that will be able to take care of him. But that's just who he is as a person. It bothered me that the thought of a woman wouldn't realize how lucky she was to have him in her life. And how lucky she was that we had an unfortunate event in our life that enabled her to be part of his. To say that I was going to be judgmental and critical of who he dated is an understatement.

I always felt protective of him because after my mom passed away, it was me that was there that took care of him. When he started dating, it felt like I was the parent and he was the kid. I wasn't sure if I was ready to let him go. And the feeling of him not "needing" me anymore was something I had a hard time with. It's funny because I can only imagine how he felt as I grew up and started doing things on my own.

And now he's 2 months away from getting married. And I finally am in a place where not only am I at acceptance with him and his new life, but happy for him as well. Debbie is a lovely woman who makes my dad happy. And I think I've "raised" my dad well enough to make good decisions about who he dates.

Bryan,

you have always been there for me. You know and have shared a lot of my pain. You forced me to play catch with you because you knew I wanted to be a better player (which I hated). And I know that you would do anything and everything for me .
I love you more than I could ever say out loud and very happy for and Debbie.

Happy Father's Day.