Thursday, January 10, 2013

You're a phony

As many of my friends know, I love YouTube. I watch it more than tv. I don't watch all the videos that go viral or quote shi*t sorority girls say, but I subscribe to channels that create videos weekly, daily or whenever.

I am working on a "how i met everyone on youtube" type presentation but for now you just need to know about the Vlogbrothers.

The Vlogbrothers, aka Hank and John Green are YT "stars" and known for creating their own following called Nerdfighters also referring them to nerdfighteria. They have almost 900,000 subscribers and over 281,154,422 views. They make videos about anything and everything like politics, stupid jokes, giraffe sex, puppy sized elephants, and more. They also now have a separate youtube channel called crashcourse which they create educational videos. Hank does science and John does history and literature.
John Green is an author and I've read one of his books. My following of him and Hank on YT was the reason that I decided to read his latest book, "The Fault in Our Stars." It's a very good read and would recommend it to everyone but spoilers, you will cry. It was really cool reading the book because I felt like I knew John. I know the way he talks and his mannerisms and his sense of humor that I could hear his voice in his writing, even though the book is from a teenage girls perspective.

But anyways...

I wanted to post about the Catcher in the Rye by J.D Salinger. I had to read this book when I was in AP lit in high school and it was one of my least favorite books ever!!!!! I thought it was very annoying and depressing and quite frankly I wanted to punch Holden in the face. Thank you to SparkNotes I was able to kind of understand what the boy was talking about. I remember being super frustrated that he cared so much about some freaking ducks in a pond.

But after I have "grown up" and aged and gained some wisdom, I've kind of realized that I am a lot like Holden Caulfield. I'm not hospitalized or anything like that but give it some time.

But what I would give to have time stand still. To stop moving for one day, or for a week. Especially now that I'm out of college. It's like I'm in limbo land between being a grown up and being a student. I don't believe that adulthood is a land of phonies and that college life is full of innocence (because it's totally not). Over the last 3 years I catch myself finding the phoniness in others, but unlike Holden I also identify the phoniness in myself. This results in alienating myself from friends and family and in someway alienating from my own self, if that's possible. Which is an issue since putting up a guard to protect myself leads to loneliness but at the same time isolation is often what comforts me.
I also found that I have a need for being unique, being "in the spotlight", and being heard. Although I don't wear a red hunting hat, I seem to thrive off of being the weird crazy girl and being my own unique individual. But at the same time I wonder if me trying to be so unique is really a way to cover up insecurities about myself and if there is a reason why I need to tell stories and make others laugh. I mean part of the reason I started this blog was so that others could hear my "intelligent" thoughts. Like Holden, I need to be listened to and pet peeve #8 I hate being interrupted. Ask anyone.

I've also noticed that I haven't been "applying" myself as much as I once did a few years ago. I tell people that it feels like I went from being a Dwight into a Jim (The Office). I was an over achiever and had to be the leader, always striving for more responsibility and probably taking things too seriously. But now I am to the point where I don't care as much as I used to. I have a more laid back approach to life or towards work or school. And I think the reason is similar to Jim's reasons is that I don't want to apply myself in a job that I don't enjoy. Instead of trying to be the best at every job/task/assignment that I have, I don't try as hard if I'm not really into it. I had a really hard time the last year of college because I was so over my classes and I knew that what I was studying wasn't going to be what I would have as a career and so I stopped caring. I don't know, it's something that I'm trying to fix but I think the main thing would be finding something that I enjoy and the rest will follow.

Sorry that this is a long, kind of depressing post but I am a very insightful person and I'm just putting my thoughts into words onto the internet.

Thanks for reading :)


I wanted to end with something a little more happy
Summer before my senior year in high school we had 3 assignments for AP lit. We had to read Wuthering Heights and Catcher in the Rye and then watch The Great Gatsby.
Part of my project I made a poster board and talked about references from Friends to all three books/movie.

Wuthering Heights
Season 5 episode 9
"The One with Ross's Sandwich"
Phoebe signs up to take a literature class and they read "Wuthering Heights." Phoebe is enjoying the class and Rachel decides to join her. But when Rachel takes credit for Phoebe's insight about the moors reflecting Heathcliffe's character, she sets Rachel up to believe that Jane Eyre is about robots.

The Great Gatsby
Season 5 episode 19
"The One where Ross Can't Flirt"
The first thing I noticed when watching The Great Gatsby was that Sam Waterston played Nick Carraway. The only reason I recognized him was because of Law and Order. In this episode Joey has everyone including his grandma (who can't speak english) get together to watch his tv debut on Law and Order only to find out that his part had been cut out. To try and avoid disappointing his grandma he tries to convince her he is someone else and she says,
"No, Sam Waterston"
"No, no that's me"
"No... Sam Waterston, crime misdemeanor, capricorn one"

And then Chandler says,
"she doesn't know hello but she knows capricorn one"
so funny

Catcher in the Rye
This one was pretty simple, Holden goes to the Museum of Natural History and likes it there because everything is still. Ross works at the museum and that is where Ross and Rachel... you know (season 2 episode 15)

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